Counselling

I do not give advice. Advice assumes I know your life better than you do, and I do not. What I offer is a conversation slow enough and honest enough that you can hear yourself in it.

Request a first session Upcoming dates

€500 for two sessions

Everything I work with comes out of the same practice as the rest of this site: look at what is actually there, rather than at the story explaining it. In counselling that means I will mostly be asking questions, and some of them will be ones you have been carefully steering around.

Sessions are sixty minutes, online, and you are never asked to commit to a course of them. Some people come once. Some come for a year. Both are fine.

Note for Prem: this page's copy is written fresh, in your voice, to be replaced with the counselling text from your previous website. Swap it in src/pages/offers/counselling.astro whenever you have it.

Life Coaching

For the point where the life you built stops answering the question you built it to answer.

People usually arrive here with a decision they have already made and cannot admit to, or with a success that turned out to be addressed to someone they no longer are. Neither is a problem to be solved. Both are situations to be seen clearly.

I will not hand you a five-year plan or a set of goals to optimise. What I will do is keep returning you to what you actually said, until the gap between what you want and what you have been arranging for yourself becomes impossible to keep not noticing.

People come to me with

A career or vocation that has quietly stopped fitting
Decisions that keep getting deferred rather than made
The specific flatness that follows getting what you wanted

Grief and Death Counselling

For loss, and for the nearness of your own death — which our culture has no language for at all.

Grief is not a disorder and it does not proceed in five tidy stages. It is the shape love takes when its object is gone, and it takes as long as it takes. The work here is not to accelerate that or to help you "move on". It is to make room for it, out loud, with someone who will not flinch and will not rush you.

I also sit with people facing their own death, and with those caring for someone who is. These conversations are among the most alive I have. The contemplative traditions I practise in have thought about death more seriously than almost anything else, and I bring that — not as consolation, but as company.

People come to me with

Bereavement, recent or long-carried
Anticipatory grief while caring for someone dying
Facing a terminal diagnosis of your own
Losses that are not deaths — a marriage, a country, a capacity

Relationships Coaching

For the patterns that repeat across different people, which means they are not about the people.

Most relationship difficulty is not a communication-skills deficit. It is two sets of conditioning meeting at speed, each certain it is simply perceiving reality. Learning better phrasing does not touch that. Seeing your own conditioning operate, in the moment, does.

I work with individuals and with couples. With couples, my job is not to referee or to find the fair split. It is to slow the exchange down enough that both of you can watch what you each do when you feel unsafe — which is almost always the real conversation underneath the one being had.

People come to me with

The same argument, in different words, for years
Choosing partners who turn out to be the same person
Deciding whether to stay, honestly rather than exhaustedly
Friendship and family, not only romance

Request a first session

Tell me roughly what is going on. If I am not the right person for it, I will say so and point you somewhere better.

Sessions run online. Prem replies personally, usually within two days.